Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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