So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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