anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
