shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
