yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
we're so committed to being not committed
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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