Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
