I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
