everyone is single if you try hard enough
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
