Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
How's work?
Spinning.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
