i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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