god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
