like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
