I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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