glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Never underestimate the power of titties
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
