Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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