so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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