omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
