Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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