Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
