belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
