I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
