Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's never too late to be topless.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
