My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize