wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
