this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
