He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
