Sry I called you an 8
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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