im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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