Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
