she woke up with a sticky ear
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
that's an acceptable place to lick
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
