This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
