I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
