How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
