im so drunk with asians
where?
always
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize