Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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