i don't like sucking hair
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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