Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
