Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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