I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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