We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
