yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
