I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize