i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
