Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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