make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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