shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
