At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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