apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
