If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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