hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
