Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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