Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
