I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
