is your mom at the bar?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
third nipple confirmed
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
