were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
