4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
