What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
