He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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