He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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