This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm really busy with my period
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