summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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